QOTD & JOTD #2

QOTD:

“ Always be a first-rate version of yourself, instead of a second-rate version of somebody else. ”

Judy Garland

JOTD:

A woman gets on a bus with her baby. The bus driver says: "That's the
ugliest baby that I've ever seen. Ugh!" The woman goes to the rear of
the bus and sits down, fuming. She says to a man next to her: "The
driver just insulted me!" The man says: "You go right up there and tell
him off – go ahead, I'll hold your monkey for you."

My own mini-monologue #1

Well,

One of my dreams is truly to make a living out of comedy. I’m still young, I still have alot of stuff to learn and alot of focus in the upcoming years.

But I’m trying to dedicate some valueable moments to practicing joke-writing, and I hope to one day become a talkshow host (Such as Conan O’brien or Jay Leno – My heroes!).

So, why not post some of my experiments here, and get some valueable feedback to my material!

So here it goes:

- A farm in Lenvik (Norway) was accidentaly burned down to the ground when the fire-department mistook a farm for beeing the target of demonstarting the next-generation fire equipment.

The firechief, whom lit the farm him self, said that he read the map wrong and that he is deeply sorry. Yeah, the fire-chief also said the same the time his wife found him in bed with the neighbor, next door.

- A study which took place over ten years, testing over seven thousand smokers over fifty (years), showed that smoking clearly weakends the memory of the brain and lowers the vocabulary.

When smokers where asked about what the results of this test, they could neither remember the question nor get a word out.

That’s alittle preview. Feel free to comment!

QOTD & JOTD #1

Quote of the day and Joke of the day is something I will post daily, just as a little inspiration and hopefully a giggle.

Here it goes:

QOTD:

“I laugh, I love, I hope, I try, I hurt, I need, I fear, I cry. And I know you do the same things too, So we’re really not that different, me and you.”

Colin Raye

JOTD:

Two cows were talking in the field one day.

First Cow: Have you heard about the Mad Cow disease that's going around?
Second Cow: Yeah, makes you glad you're a penguin, doesn't it?